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  • -2 score
    8 voters

    1 million beers for students

    Submitted 3 weeks ago by Sebastian Caisley Expires on 29 Aug
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    2comments
    I think it is fair for all students to have access to 1 million beers a day because we all like them. Imagine how many beers's we could get for the £9250 we pay a year. BEER
Connor Hearn
12:55pm on 8 Mar 25 One million beers a day? That’s an insult. For £9250 a year, I expect a full beer ecosystem. I want beer taps in every lecture hall, beer fountains in the library and a lazy river of lager connecting every building on campus. Every student should receive a personal keg upon enrolment and seminar rooms should have dedicated bartenders trained to serve a cold one every time someone asks a question that was literally just answered. Frankly, it’s a disgrace that I have to attend a 09:00 lecture sober. The university should be ashamed. I want a compulsory pint upon entering the exam hall, I want dissertations submitted via beer mat and I want the vice-chancellor to personally deliver a keg to my doorstep as compensation for this blatant injustice. If the university fails to meet these basic demands, I will be forced to take legal action on behalf of every suffering student. We pay, we struggle and we endure. The least they can do is let us drown in BEER. /s
David Mulgrew
11:21am on 24 Mar 25 Even at spoonies prices of around £4 a pint, that's 2,321 beers a year. or 6.3 beers a day, every day. How many livers do you have?